Man oh man where to start… here are some ramblings that are taking place in my mind and in my heart today…
It feels great to play the piano, no music notes to follow, just the emotions inside delving out onto the keys, notes of pure emotion reveling out into the open air and not for anyone else to hear or judge, just simply to be expressed. Like a cup of coffee forgotten about, but still good, the music flows out of my soul into the air, breathing, moving, rhythm being produced, belted, exposed, expressed, exaggerated and free flowing. To breathe, to move, to create, to educate, to teach, to expose, to free, to live abundantly. What more can one ask for? So much more, yet nothing more all together. To be completely satisfied and still completely hungry for what could be, what might be, what will be, it is a strange juxtaposition and completely relevant to life as I know it. To be any less is simply apathetic, and that is a cup of coffee long forgotten about and now growing mold, festering in its own bacteria of lonesomeness, disappointment, and injustice.
What is life but moving, and yet fear tries to contain and still the movement but it can not stop it. Even the illusion of stillness is still movement, it is just entrapment in the movement of your fear, which unconfronted grows like a disease until it gradually consumes the healthy cells of love and laughter and freedom and adventure and joy and hope. Only by the grace of God, whose very words can make mountains be flat, will this cycle be broken, only by His love that came in the presence of a man who died so that we could chose to be free, only in the singular act of His forgiveness for all the sins of the world for all time could we break free from this bondage that so entangles our souls. It is in the freedom of His love that we can finally breathe, such a simple thing that we forget about until we find we cannot do it, then it becomes such a precious dear gift, to breathe in and out, in and out, what glorious joy.
One breath can tell you how another feels, tired, frustrated, angry, at peace, in love, dreaming of a beautiful day, pr lost in the abyss they fell into, ups and downs on the rollercoaster of life. What does it mean to breathe in the good and out the bad, a simple meditation tool, to focus on breathing in life, hope, peace, serenity, strength, releasing everything else that combats that in your breath out. How is it that a composition of musical notes can express the emotions of the inner man, the moving of highs and lows, glory and failure, love and pain, deep in the hearts of everyone the battles rage on, the fight for freedom and fulfillment, the fight for life and love. I simply refuse to allow my life to have only one half of the equation any longer. I need it all, I need every emotion, every feeling, every beat, every note, every movement to be free, I need every expression to be expressed, every touch to be felt, every song to be heard, every painting to be seen, and not just by men but to know that if no other human ever came in contact with me or my life’s work, that the God of Creation would know that I spent my life creating with Him, creating and expressing life with Him, and that must be enough. It must be enough for me, whether I receive the acknowledgment of men’s praises or the acknowledgment of Heaven’s hosts, my heart should only find strength and fulfillment in the God who gave His life to spend it with me.
This is not to say that my creations will not be seen or heard or felt by man, because I very much feel that what the Heart of the Father God is saying will be expressed through my work, it will change the face of the earth as we know it and people will be caught up into ecstasy’s with Him by experiencing my work. My only thing is that their reaction cannot be what fuels me or it simply will fizzle out and life will not be worth creating for. It leads to the fear of man where I must find them pleased with my creation and then fear that what I create will not be received and then I have put chains of bondage on myself and on my creation, allowing it only to grow into a very small and uncomfortable box that it was never meant to be in, and that creates a breading ground for apathy, and then nothing matters because fear has taken hold of life itself and until Love demolishes that demonic oppression, art fails to be what it was designed to be, what it’s full potential is, the means to travel into the spirit realm, into the Father’s heart, into His arms, into His love, His peace, His healing touch.
Art as an expression is just not enough, it begins there, but it must go somewhere, it must lead us to the one who is bigger than all of the emotions that so easily guide our lives if we are not careful. As a creative, I am well aware of the fact that we are moved easily, touched by beauty and pain easily and we respond in a variety of ways, we then often express what we encountered and stop there, but we must move beyond, move through, move past the wall that we have built and run hard, run fast into the freedom that Christ died for, the freedom that is founded on the absolute acceptance of a Father who loves you and is proud of you and died to spend His life with you so that you could be free and move and breathe and create and express and wonder and live abundantly.
