Friday, September 30, 2011
College Park Arts Festival Sept 24, 2011
I think for me the most significant part of the day was to watch people come into the booth and stare at my paintings, and I know that the Lord was doing things in their hearts while they looked at them. It was beautiful to watch. Those moments alone made the whole day of sitting there completely worth it. Sometimes I forget that my art is not just for me and the Lord to create together, but it is to be seen, that is what it is for, to transform lives by beauty and love and hope and joy. It was a great day :)
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Some random thoughts for today
Man oh man where to start… here are some ramblings that are taking place in my mind and in my heart today…
It feels great to play the piano, no music notes to follow, just the emotions inside delving out onto the keys, notes of pure emotion reveling out into the open air and not for anyone else to hear or judge, just simply to be expressed. Like a cup of coffee forgotten about, but still good, the music flows out of my soul into the air, breathing, moving, rhythm being produced, belted, exposed, expressed, exaggerated and free flowing. To breathe, to move, to create, to educate, to teach, to expose, to free, to live abundantly. What more can one ask for? So much more, yet nothing more all together. To be completely satisfied and still completely hungry for what could be, what might be, what will be, it is a strange juxtaposition and completely relevant to life as I know it. To be any less is simply apathetic, and that is a cup of coffee long forgotten about and now growing mold, festering in its own bacteria of lonesomeness, disappointment, and injustice.
What is life but moving, and yet fear tries to contain and still the movement but it can not stop it. Even the illusion of stillness is still movement, it is just entrapment in the movement of your fear, which unconfronted grows like a disease until it gradually consumes the healthy cells of love and laughter and freedom and adventure and joy and hope. Only by the grace of God, whose very words can make mountains be flat, will this cycle be broken, only by His love that came in the presence of a man who died so that we could chose to be free, only in the singular act of His forgiveness for all the sins of the world for all time could we break free from this bondage that so entangles our souls. It is in the freedom of His love that we can finally breathe, such a simple thing that we forget about until we find we cannot do it, then it becomes such a precious dear gift, to breathe in and out, in and out, what glorious joy.
One breath can tell you how another feels, tired, frustrated, angry, at peace, in love, dreaming of a beautiful day, pr lost in the abyss they fell into, ups and downs on the rollercoaster of life. What does it mean to breathe in the good and out the bad, a simple meditation tool, to focus on breathing in life, hope, peace, serenity, strength, releasing everything else that combats that in your breath out. How is it that a composition of musical notes can express the emotions of the inner man, the moving of highs and lows, glory and failure, love and pain, deep in the hearts of everyone the battles rage on, the fight for freedom and fulfillment, the fight for life and love. I simply refuse to allow my life to have only one half of the equation any longer. I need it all, I need every emotion, every feeling, every beat, every note, every movement to be free, I need every expression to be expressed, every touch to be felt, every song to be heard, every painting to be seen, and not just by men but to know that if no other human ever came in contact with me or my life’s work, that the God of Creation would know that I spent my life creating with Him, creating and expressing life with Him, and that must be enough. It must be enough for me, whether I receive the acknowledgment of men’s praises or the acknowledgment of Heaven’s hosts, my heart should only find strength and fulfillment in the God who gave His life to spend it with me.
This is not to say that my creations will not be seen or heard or felt by man, because I very much feel that what the Heart of the Father God is saying will be expressed through my work, it will change the face of the earth as we know it and people will be caught up into ecstasy’s with Him by experiencing my work. My only thing is that their reaction cannot be what fuels me or it simply will fizzle out and life will not be worth creating for. It leads to the fear of man where I must find them pleased with my creation and then fear that what I create will not be received and then I have put chains of bondage on myself and on my creation, allowing it only to grow into a very small and uncomfortable box that it was never meant to be in, and that creates a breading ground for apathy, and then nothing matters because fear has taken hold of life itself and until Love demolishes that demonic oppression, art fails to be what it was designed to be, what it’s full potential is, the means to travel into the spirit realm, into the Father’s heart, into His arms, into His love, His peace, His healing touch.
Art as an expression is just not enough, it begins there, but it must go somewhere, it must lead us to the one who is bigger than all of the emotions that so easily guide our lives if we are not careful. As a creative, I am well aware of the fact that we are moved easily, touched by beauty and pain easily and we respond in a variety of ways, we then often express what we encountered and stop there, but we must move beyond, move through, move past the wall that we have built and run hard, run fast into the freedom that Christ died for, the freedom that is founded on the absolute acceptance of a Father who loves you and is proud of you and died to spend His life with you so that you could be free and move and breathe and create and express and wonder and live abundantly.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Romantic Ideas
1. Plan a picnic complete with blanket, basket, a simple yet elegant flower and a meal that shows you know your lover. Create a memory, set up the blanket and food and surprise them with a game that has a mystery to be solved but each piece comes separately one per date or every other date, or one in the mail in a hand written letter. Maybe even puzzle pieces that create a picture of a place to visit or a question to ask or a message of what it is about them that you fell in love with, or the first thing about them that caught your eye… something unique to you as a couple.
2. At a concert when that slow love song comes on, walk up to your love and in a swave motion, sweep them into your arms and into a slow dance, complete with spins and a dip and maybe sweet nothings whispered into their ear.
3. Find something they love, a simple thing, and randomly buy it and place it in their car or on their car when they least expect it with a short sweet note.
4. Hide little notes in their coat pocket or slip it into the bag so that they randomly find a note telling them how much they are loved and treasured, what made you fall for them, or a favorite memory you share.
5-25-11 Some thoughts for today :)
Other than that I have had the honor of traveling to Chicago with Blake and April Healy, John Pitzer, Rebekah Sanderson and Deborah VanHaelst. While we were there I felt like I totally stepped into being myself and I actually saw what was inside of me come out while we were ministering. I had the opportunity to walk some beautiful people through some inner healing and deliverance and watch the Lord love them into freedom they had never known. I watched as they the body of Christ honored and blessed one another and was blown away by the generosity of this beautiful city and its people. Our last day there I actually got to speak in front of a congregation and I preached for a few minutes which is such a testimony of the Grace of God in my life. It was only a few years ago that I broke down before giving a ten minute group presentation on the love of God in front of a class of my peers, and this past month I stood confidently in front of an entire church and talked about the lover of my life and His passionate pursuit of my heart and it felt amazing. I watched the love that He has been pouring into me pour out of me and it filled me with delight at how far His love has freed me from the bondage of fear.
Other fantastic things are that I have graduated from the second year program of Bethel Atlanta School of Supernatural Ministry and from the Bethel Atlanta School of Supernatural Arts, both of which brought me to see the beauty inside of me, and helped me to let it out.
These past two months I have been simply baffled at the changes I see in myself, things I never would have had the audacity to dream about are desires that I know I will see come to fruition in my life. I never would have thought that God would want to take me to the nations and I never wanted to use missions as a way to see the world but now I can not think of a more satisfying life than to travel the world loving people with Jesus, to see His beautiful bride shinning elegantly before Her King. My desire to be seen has been put in its rightful place, knowing that the God of creation sees and loves me all the time. I know that He accepts and loves me for who I am not for what I can or cannot do and His love will shatter every chain of bondage and break every attack of the enemy off of me. I know that I will walk victoriously through life with Him by my side and we will see the bride stand up and know her worth and beauty.
I have so many thoughts running through my mind, what will I do now that school is out, for the summer for the next year, for the rest of my life?! There are so many things to do I am left trying to discover just which one is right for the season I am in now! And thus the many hours I spend lost in thought, searching my heart and discovering what my passion really is and how I am going to walk in it.
I have discovered that the desires and interests I had as a child have never gone away, inside of me I still want to be a singer, a musician, a dancer, a painter, a mom, and a world traveler, I want to teach people about the love of God, and share in the process of them experiencing freedom beyond what they ever hoped or dreamed. I want to dream and read and play the piano and drums, I want to sit by the campfire and sing melodies to the rhythm of guitars playing in the night. I want to write books and take photographs of beautiful things people forget to notice, the color of trees before it rains, the drop of rain that ripples the puddle, the blossom of a long since forgotten garden, the crawl of a caterpillar as it makes its journey across the wood looking for it’s next meal before its great transition toward flight. I want to write children’s stories that open their eyes to wonder at the great vastness of the glory of God and that make the adults dream again like a small child unhindered by the world’s worries. I want to walk down the streets of the inner city shining the love of God brilliantly until the neighborhoods are filled with hope and life and love. I want to see the homeless acknowledged by the people passing them on the street, and not just acknowledged but their presence to be valued as beautiful people who deserve to be loved just the same as everyone else.
I want the Kingdom of God to reign in this world as it does in Heaven and I want to see the injustice of the enemy brought to its knees before the Almighty God, maker of Heaven and Earth, the one filled with Love and justice and compassion and mercy and grace and power and glory. The one who knew the great devastation mankind would create and chose to love us before we were ever created. The one who decided we were worth the pain and suffering it would cause Him because love must be poured out of Him and love endures all things and hopes all things and never keeps a record of wrong. I want to see LOVE demonstrated in my life and in the lives of everyone who claims to know and walk with my Lord, my love, my Jesus. I want to see us, as His bride, grasp what it means to be transformed by His love and to see us love like He does. I want to see the bride rise up and be the victorious joyful church known by her love and actions towards those who need love the most.
I wish that every breath we take would be breathing in the love of God and breathing out the love of God, and I know that we live in a world full of sin, but if we could make that our goal, our desire, to be the breath of love, the breath of life to the world then what might we see in our lifetime? What changes would come if everyone breathed in perfect love that casts out fear and breathed out perfect love that conquers all? Breathed in peace that surpasses all understanding and breathed out compassion for the lost, abused, and broken? Breathed in grace and breathed out joy that strengthened those around us? I dare say that the world would be a different place if we the church breathed in love and breathed out the judgment that all might be saved, and that none have gone too far to be swallowed up by the love of the Father who never fails, or forsakes us.
It is a beautiful thought and a challenge and one that needs to be thought of and hoped for and set as the marker, for we are all called to be the body of Christ, loving one another as He loved us, so we need to first discover the depth and width and height of His love so that we can know how to be loved and then out of being loved love others.
This is my thought for today, my day dream for the world…
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
A Day of Excitement!
I am going into this school with these expectations, that I will walk in freedom as an artist fully expressing the glory God put in me. I will make and keep covenant relationships with people who will be significant in my life from here on out. Doors will be opened and direction set at my feet of where I am to go and wisdom of how to do so. My skills will be developed as I surround myself with a community of artists whose heart is to grow in their relationship with God, as a person, in relationship with others, and as an artist. Freedom will be abundant in our conversations and work as well dwell in the Holy Spirit, as He dwells in us. Joy will blossom where wounds used to be, and fear will be replaced by love and acceptance. Lives will never be the same, because the glory of the Lord will dwell among His people and we will encounter His goodness and grace! :D This is a BEAUTIFUL DAY!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Testimonies of God's Faithfulness!
I had to have $400 by Wednesday to be able to go to the school after that part was paid for then a payment plan could be worked out. SO yesterday I figured out how much I could make at the church working with the toddlers and added that to how much I still needed and then found out that if I couldn't pay the $400 I couldn't go. All day long I battled with my mind, choosing to stand on the promises of God that He is a faithful provider, That He did indeed tell me to go and that now was the right time to go, over and over I battled and had the opportunity to stand on His word and declare it and praise Him in the midst of waiting for things to happen.
Then a most beautiful woman and dear friend Barbara Johnson called me and asked if I had my money and would be able to go to the school and I told her that I still needed $200 so she told me that she would send me that money to go. She is sowing into me and my dreams. Incredible. So now I am able to go!!! and I'm believing the Lord for more blessings and a life changing encounter there, divine connections with people who will walk with me through life.
Another truly AMAZING woman that I am friends with Deborah Van Haelst is supporting me and paying for my trip to Nicaragua, whatever money doesn't come in the she is going to pay for which blows my mind. She too is sowing into my dreams and my gratitude cannot begin to be expressed. One day Debs will be internationally known for her music, she has a sound that will put her on the top of the charts, and the lyrics of the songs that she writes will move your heart and touch you so deeply inside that you will want to listen over and over and over again to her songs. I am excited for the day when she has her own album out there!!! The world will never be the same! :) you can check her out on you tube under FieryDeb she's incredible!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Renewed Hope
Today I decided that I was going to step out in faith and pray for the cashier at Publix who had a headache, she didn't notice any difference but was shocked that I asked if I could pray for her, and curious where I went to church. I left encouraged because I finally stepped out in boldness and prayed for the cashier, this is something I had not done yet. This year I will be filled with boldness to love people, to share the love of my Jesus with them, to bring His heartbeat for them to the surface and they will forever be changed because when His love shows up you are never the same. Today I walked in my victory over darkness, today I knew that what is inside me is greater than fear, and headaches. Love conquers all.
Today I had another victory. I decided that I am going to Bethel Atlanta School of Supernatural Arts. I don't know how I am going to pay for it, but I do know that God has given me a Go and so I am going to Go, and I will watch Him faithfully and miraculously provide and it will be a testimony of His goodness. Today I chose to believe that I am a daughter of the King of Kings and He richly provides for all my needs. Today I chose to believe that His word is true especially when circumstances make it seemingly impossible. Faith is believing in the things unseen and at school we like to spell Faith "RISK" So today I stood on the declarations of the past two years, stood on the promises of a lifetime, and finished filling out my application. This is a GOOD day!
Little by little, sometimes by leaps and bounds, my mindset is becoming victorious as He speaks life and destiny and truth over me and as I declare the words He speaks about me over myself renewing my mind, my identity, my hope, and my faith. For I am a city set on a hill, and I cannot be hidden for He put light inside me that shines and breaks into darkness.
Today was a beautiful day for me. This year is going to be filled with beauty, victory, boldness, joy and Abundant Life, because that is what Jesus died for and anything short of that is just not good enough. May you be blessed and encouraged and may the Lord let His face shine upon you and give you peace! Night my dear ones!